Senshi's Christmas Vacation
by Tache
Summary: Haruka has plans to through the perfect Christmas party for the senshi. Chaos is the result. Based on the movie National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation


I know I said to myself I would not start new stories when I had one in progress, but since this is a special Christmas one shot, I decided to write this. I just hope I finish it before Christmas. This is based on my favorite Christmas movie ever, "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation". If you've seen that movie, this will seem familiar to you, if not, the outers will seem really OOC. I decided once again, this story is to be told from Haruka's POV since I like it so much. No, this is not linked to my other stories.

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon or National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (Well, I do own the movie on tape, but that's not what I meant)

Senshi's Christmas Vacation

We were all in my car, Michiru, Setsuna, Hotaru, and myself. We were out on the journey to find the perfect Christmas tree for the Christmas party we were throwing at our house, which all the senshi and Mamoru would attend. I had always wanted to do this. This would be the best Christmas ever if I got my way. Michiru was looking forward to it too. She thought it was a great idea to spend Christmas with all our friends. We were both up front singing Christmas carols. Setsuna and Hotaru were both in the back seat, not looking very excited for some reason.

"Where are we going again?" Setsuna asked me. It seemed she didn't want to be here.

"We're going to find the perfect Christmas tree for our Senshi Christmas party." I told her. Michiru and I continued to sing Christmas carols, that is until these assholes in a truck started to tailgate us. It was one thing for them to tailgate a regular person, but to tailgate Haruka Tenoh, the raising star of F1 racing, was unforgivable. I grew angrier as they pulled out to pass us. I honked my horn and shot them the finger. Michiru looked at me like I had gone crazy.

"Haruka Tenoh, what the hell are you doing?" She asked me.

"I'm teaching these assholes a lesson!" I told her. Once they had passed me I sped up and pulled around them. I laughed like a manic as I passed them. Setsuna and Hotaru looked scared in the backseat. I got around them and continued to drive at a high speed. Still it wasn't long till they caught up and passed me again. OK, these guys were asking for it. Not paying attention, I pulled into the other lane to pass them again. It wasn't until I was in the other lane that I noticed my mistake.

"Haruka, we're stuck under a truck." Michiru pointed out. Why couldn't she had said something before we got stuck under the truck? Some help she was.

"Now you've done it." Setsuna said.

"Are we going to die?" Hotaru asked. Not on my watch! I sharply turned and we got free from the truck, only to come face to face with a snow plow. I sharply turned again and we went flying through the air and landed at the tree lot. Great, now all we had to do was pick out a tree. We all got out of the car and I lead everyone into the forest.

"Haruka, the tree lot is back there." Michiru pointed out.

"We're not here to pay money for those scrawny things, we're going to pick out our own tree." I told her. We marched for at least half and hour before I saw the perfect tree. I stood there and gaped at it. It was perfect. I could see the light surrounding it.

"Wow, that's the most big ass tree I've even seen." Hotaru said. Everyone was too busy staring at the tree to notice her choice of words.

"Um, and where are we going to put that thing?" Setsuna asked me.

"In our living room." I told her.

"So, where's the saw?" Michiru asked. It was then that I realized was I had forgotten to bring.

"Damn it!" I cursed, "Everyone transform."

"Uranus Crystal Power…" 

"Neptune Crystal Power…"

"Pluto Crystal Power…"

"Saturn Crystal Power…"

"MAKE UP!" We all yelled. We all faced the tree and attacked. We somehow managed to unroot the thing without damaging it. We all cheered and dragged the thing back to the car.

Later at home, I decided it was a good time to trim the tree up. I got the power saw and went to the tree. I then noticed our homophobic neighbors were watching me. I turned to face them.

"Hey Tenoh, what are you going to do with a tree that big?" The man, Joe, yelled out to me. Hum, maybe I should be smart with him.

"Bend over and I'll show ya! And I'm not talking to you, Joe!" I called out. Joe turned to face his girlfriend, Mimi, who had a look of disgust on her face.

"I told you to stop hitting on my girlfriend, dyke!" He yelled back at me. He and Mimi walk into there house with disgust. Well that took care of them. I turned back to the tree and trimmed it up. After a bit of trimming I was satisfied with my work. I tied the branches up to make it easier to move it into the house. After a bit of trouble I finally got it set up in the living room. Everyone heard all the noise bringing it in and came down to see what was going on.

"Everyone, you're just in time to see the unveiling of the Senshi Christmas Tree!" I told them as cut the rope. There was a huge crash as the branches broke through the windows and knocked things of tables. I ended up stuck inside the trees branches.

"Wow, this tree has a lot of sap." I commented. That night, I had to take a shower, but I was still sticking when I went to bed. Michiru literally need to pry me out of bed the next morning.

The next day I had to visit the race track for practice. One of my team mates, Yuuta, walked up to me.

"Hey, Tenoh, what's up?" Yuuta asked.

"Not much." I told him.

"So, did you get your bonus yet?" He asked me. It was a tradition on this team that the manager gave us all a bonus on Christmas.

"Not yet, have you?" I asked.

"No. So what are you planning on doing with it this year." He asked.

"I'm planning to install a pool in the back yard. It will really have Michiru all over me." I told him. I felt myself grow hotter as I thought of the reward Michiru would give me for her own pool.

"Yeah, I'd be happy too if she was all over me." Yuuta said.

"Hey, stop thinking about my girl!" I told him. God, this guy needs to get laid before he does something drastic.

Later that day, I decided I should go Christmas shopping. I parked my car and the mall and went in. I walked around for awhile. What presents should I buy? I spotted a sexy underwear store. I grew hot again as I thought of my Michiru in sexy underwear. I enter the store to buy her some for Christmas. I looked around at all the sexy underwear, that is until the sexy sales clerk greeted me. I swear, she's even sexier then my Michiru is. I gawked at her. She had long, wavy, blonde hair. She was also wearing the sexiest clothing I had ever seen.

"Can I help you?" She asked.

"Oh, I'm just here looking for underwear for my girlfriend." I told her.

"Well maybe I can help you. I can even model some if you'd like." She said. I nodded as she went into the change room to model some sexy underwear for me. She came out in the sexy underwear after a few minutes. I gawked some more and never noticed Hotaru walk up behind me.

"Haruka-papa, what are you doing?" She asked.

"Oh hi Hotaru-chan…" I said, not really paying attention at first. After a few seconds, my mind finally registered that it was Hotaru standing beside me. Oh shit. She giggled at me. "Please don't tell Michiru-mama." I begged her as I bought some sexy underwear for Michiru. Hotaru nodded.

The next day, around noon, there was a knock at the door. We all assemble in the living room as I opened the door, revealing all the inner senshi and Mamoru. They all burst in the house.

"Marry Christmas!" Usagi yelled as she bounced around the living room like a rabbit. I always wondered how she got her name.

"And a Happy New Year!" Minako called out as she entered. She ran into Usagi and they both fell down. Usagi started to cry.

"Ah, I can't believe how stupid you can be!" Rei told her.

"Really, bouncing around like that is not a good idea." Ami told her. Mamoru ended up being to one to comfort his girlfriend.

"I brought snacks for later." Makoto said trying to lighten the mood. Usagi then stopped crying. Hum, she's cute when she does that.

"Well I'll be outside putting the Christmas lights up." I said. "Come on, Hotaru-chan." I dragged Hotaru out with me. We head out to the garage and take out 5 boxes of Christmas lights. This year I was planning to cover the whole house in lights. It would look so great. Hotaru looked nervously at all the boxes.

"Haruka-papa, why do we need so many lights?" She asked me. I explained to her my plans. "But is it really necessary to have so many lights?"

"Of course it is. Now check all the lights and untangle all the knots." I told her. She sighed as she started checking all the lights. I went back into the garage to get a ladder. When I got back out, I found my homophobic neighbors standing in front of their house.

"Hey, Tenoh, what's with all the lights?" Joe asked me.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" I called back. I placed the ladder up against the house.

"I hope you fall and break your neck." Mimi called out.

"Well I hope you fall and have your skirt fly up." I yelled back at her. I proceed up the ladder.

"Stop hitting on my girlfriend!" Joe called back as they both left. It was amazing how many of our conversations ended with him saying that. I started to put the lights up. Boy, this was going to take awhile. It did go pretty smoothly though, except for that one incident where I fell and a block of ice went flying through the neighbor's window. Oh well, it would just be something they'd have a fit about later. After a few hours, I was finally finished putting the lights up. I called everyone out side.

"What's going on?" Usagi asked.

"I'm glad you all came out." I said. "You are about to watch the birth of the Senshi Christmas House!" The neighbors choose this moment to arrive home.

"Hum, this should be good!" Joe said.

"Shut up, Joe!" I called out. All was silent for awhile. I took a deep breath and plugged it in. Nothing happened.

"Great job, dyke!" Mimi called out. I was in shock that it didn't work. I turn to the neighbors.

"Well at least my butt doesn't still out!" I called back.

"I thought I told you to stop hitting on my girlfriend!" Joe told me as they entered their house. After a few minutes there was a scream and I assumed they noticed the damage caused by that block of ice. I turn back to my house and begin to frantically search for the reason the lights wouldn't work. I then noticed that I forgot to plug the extension cord in. I plugged it in and house whole house lit up brightly. I heard cheers from my front yard and more screams from the neighbor's house. I returned to the front yard.

"Oh Haruka, it's beautiful!" Michiru called out and hugged me tightly. I smirked as the neighbors came back out of their house.

"I'm blind!" Mimi called out.

"You'll pay for this, Tenoh!" Joe called out.

"Will you're girlfriend make me pay?" I asked him.

"Stop hitting on my girlfriend already!" He yelled as they both stumbled off. I smirked with satisfaction. I was up on them, big time. I walked around the yard to get congratulated by everyone.

"Great job there, Haruka-san!" A male voice said from beside me. I turned around to face him.

"Thank you, Seiya-san!" I said. I then realized what I had said. I gawked as I noticed Seiya, Taiki, and Yaten had arrived in my yard. "What are you guys doing here?" I asked them. I don't remember inviting them to the Senshi Christmas Party.

"Michiru-san invited us." Taiki said. Huh, why did Michiru always have to go behind my back and invite people. It just wasn't right. Why did these guys have to ruin my Christmas?

Later that night, I stood there staring out the window. I couldn't believe Michiru invited the star lights over for Christmas. Was she out of her mind? I decided to think of other things before I became mad, so I looked out the window and imagined the summer when the pool was all set up. I smiled at the sight of all the senshi enjoying themselves in the pool. I then saw Seiya on the diving board and scowled. Why was he invading my day dreams now? I turned back to my fantasy and saw that Seiya had turned into that girl from the sexy underwear shop. I blinked and she was still there, but the rest of the senshi were gone. She giggled at me and began to remove her bathing suit. Now, I was unable to blink. I pressed myself against the window as she dove into the pool and resurfaced, only to be interrupted by…

"Haruka-papa!" I screamed and turned around. I saw Hotaru staring at me. Why had she interrupted my sexy fantasy? Come to think of it, why hadn't I received my bonus yet?

"What were you doing just now, Haruka-papa?" Hotaru asked me.

"Oh, I was just having a fantasy. They sometimes cheer my up when the star lights suddenly arrive." I told her. It was true though. That fantasy had cheered me up. Hotaru nodded and went back to bed after grabbing a glass of water.

The next morning, I walked downstairs to a food fight in this dining room. The inner senshi could be so immature at times, but really cute. Since I had just showered, I decided to go into the living room, rather then join them. I looked out the window as Michiru walked up and embraced me. She sighed into my chest.

"Morning love." She said, "So, anything new?" I continued to look out the window.

"Not much except an idiot emptying a chemical toilet into the storm sewer." I told her. She gasped and looked out the window. Outside, Seiya was emptying the chemical toilet that the star lights had in there van. I knew that guy was stupid. Let's hope no one lights a match near that sewer during the next few days. Joe walked out of his house, only to run away screaming at the sight. Hum, maybe Seiya wasn't so bad after all.

That night, we all decided to go tobogganing. Being the kind of person with the need for speed, I decided to bring along a can of non-stick cooking spray. Maybe this would stop my sled from stopping half way down the hill. Everyone looked at me like I was crazy as I applied it to the bottom of my sled.

"Are you crazy, Haruka-san?" Usagi asked.

"No I'm not! I just have the need for speed." I told her. I prepared my sled for take off.

"Hum, maybe if you turn out OK, I'll put some on my sled." Seiya joked. Ha ha! Laugh it up while you can. You won't be laughing when I make it down the hill without stopping while you get stuck. With that thought, I pushed off. My sled took off like a rocket. It did not stop on the hill or at the bottom for that matter. It just kept on going.

"OH SHIT!" I screamed as my sled rocketed through trees. I ended up on the highway, but the sled still didn't slow down. In fact, it didn't stop till I crashed into a parked car. Surprisingly, I was not injured. I then decided I would never do that again.

The next day, Hotaru sent me out to pick up her father. She said it wouldn't be Christmas without him. I set out in the afternoon to pick him up. His house was a couple hours away. When I arrived, I knocked on the door. He answered awhile later.

"Ah, you're finally here, Haruka-san." He said. "Pick up my bags and presents for me." I picked them up and we left.

It was dark by the time we got back home. God, I hate winter day light times. They don't last long enough! He gasps at the number of lights on my house.

"Is the house on fire?" He asked.

"No, Prof. Tomoe, it's just the Christmas lights." I told him. We both head into the house and are greeted by Michiru, Setsuna, and Hotaru.

"Papa!" Hotaru yelled as she hugged her dad. He handed her his presents.

"Put these under the tree, will you?" Hotaru left to put the presents under the tree. Setsuna then took Prof. Tomoe's arm.

"Now why don't you say hello to everyone else." She said as she led him to the dining room. Hotaru then came back out with a present.

"Haruka-papa! This box is meowing." She said. I took the box from her and shook it, only to hear a "MEOW!"

"Now I remember why Hotaru's living with us and not him." I said. I opened the present and a cat jumped out. Great, now there's a cat running around the house. What would happen next? I sighed and headed into the dining room for dinner.

Everyone was sitting at the table when I arrived. The food looked delicious. But before we could eat, there was one other thing that needed to be done.

"Prof. Tomoe, would you do us the honor of saying Grace?" I asked. Prof. Tomoe nodded and we all bowed our heads. Prof. Tomoe cleared his throat and said…

"Grace!" We all stared blankly at him for a few moments. I decided it was best to take the attention off him.

"Amen!" I finished. I turned to the turkey. "Mako-chan, the turkey looks wonderful." I told Makoto. She nodded. I raised the knife and cut into it, only to have the turkey burst into steam and shrivel up. Wow, that was unexpected. Makoto then burst into tears. She could not believe that had happened.

"Mako-chan, its fine." Michiru told her.

"Yeah, we can still eat it." I said. We all helped ourselves to the food and started pretending to eat the turkey. After a few minutes of pretending to eat, I excused myself from the table. I walked into the living room and noticed the lights on the tree were off. I looked at them strangely until I noticed they were unplugged. I then plugged them into, onto to have the lights in the house flicker and an electric current flow underneath a chair. I heard I "MEOW!" as the electric current went under the chair. Well I just that took care of the cat problem.

A few minutes later, everyone had joined me in the living room. I moved the chair and there was a cat burn mark in the carpet with far around it. The poor thing. I bet it never saw that coming. I sighed and we all moved back into the living room to eat dessert. The only one that stayed was Prof. Tomoe so he could have a cigar.

I was just eating dessert were a flash of light came from the living room. What now? Had another cat electrocuted itself? I walked into the living room to see the burnt remains of my Christmas tree and Prof. Tomoe standing in front of it. Oh God, what next? There was then a knock at the door. I opened it to find a guy delivering a letter to me. I bring it back into my living room.

"Hey, everyone, I just received my bonus!" I said. They all got excited. "With this, I plan to put in a swimming pool." They all squealed and Michiru gave me a kiss. I knew she would. I opened the envelope and gasped.

"What is it?" Michiru asked me.

"It's a one year membership to the fruit of the month club." I said in shock. I could not believe this.

"Hey, I always knew you were a fruit!" Seiya called out. I crumbed up my notice and threw it at him.

"Don't confuse me with a gay man!" I screamed, "I don't believe that bastard! I would like nothing more then to have my stupid manager right hear tonight so I can tell him what I really think of him!" I then started to ramble using a lot of inappropriate words. I'm surprised Setsuna didn't cover Hotaru's ears. I stormed out of the house and into the garage. I grabbed my saw and cut down a pine tree in our yard. It crashed into the neighbor's window, but I didn't care. I just dragged the tree in. Everyone stared at me in shock as I walked in dragging the tree.

"Have you gone mad?" Usagi asked.

"No, I'm fine." I said as I put the tree up. I started to put some ornaments on the tree, but stopped when I heard a sound in the tree. I move the branches around to investigate and found the cause.

"SQUIRREL!" I screamed as a squirrel leapt out of the tree. Everyone started to scream and run around like maniacs. The squirrel chased us through the entire house and destroyed lots of things. I saw the squirrel heading for the door so I opened the door and saw Mimi standing there ready to knock. The squirrel jumped on her and attacked. Oh well, she deserved it anyways. I head back into the living room.

"So, who's in the mood for Christmas stories?" I asked. After a few minutes we had all settled down as I told Christmas stories to them. I was interrupted by a noise outside though. I walked to the window only to see Seiya with my manager, Tanaka, who was tied up. This could not be good.

After awhile, I had finally gotten Tanaka untied. He was pretty furious about being tied up like that. I guess I would be too. Well, unless it was Michiru and she did it in bed. But enough of that.

"I'm so sorry, Tanaka-san!" I apologized, "See this guy here, Seiya, he's an idiot." Tanaka still didn't look impressed.

"Tenoh-san! You're fired!" He yelled at me.

"Well I don't want to work for you anymore anyways since all I got for a bonus this year was a subscription to a fruit club!" I yelled back, "You never told me about this! You should tell people if they aren't getting bonuses! When you've been getting one for the last few years, you expect them and make plans before getting them you know!" Tanaka thinks about this for awhile.

"OK, you're not of the team. And as for your bonus, I'll give you double what I did last year." He said. I fainted when I heard that. Michiru caught me before I hit the floor though. We all started to celebrate my bonus. That is until there was a crash at the window. We all started to panic.

"FREEZE!" A voice yelled out. We all froze and noticed we were surrounded by the entire Japanese SWAT team. I guess Tanaka's wife called the police when Seiya kidnapped him. The police chief then walked in with Tanaka's wife. She approached her husband.

"Thank God you're alright!" She said. Tanaka then explained the entire situation to her and we were off the hook. We all sighed and headed outside for some fresh air. I look up into the sky and see a strange glow. That was odd. I noticed Prof. Tomoe lighting a cigar in front of the sewer and I suddenly remember Seiya emptying his chemical toilet there. Oh shit. There was a huge explosion that knocked us all backwards. Luckily no one was hurt. We all soon laughed it off. This may have been a crazy Christmas, but I think it was very successful.

The End!

Wow, I actually managed to finish this in one day! Well I hope those of you who read this enjoyed it. See you again!


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